maintenance meds & other stories
Manila, 19 August—Every August or thereabouts, I sit down and have a talk with the company doctor, who then tells me, predictably, that my uric levels are off the charts, and that maybe I should cut back on the beer because of my fatty liver. That, and that I should work on improving my diet and maybe declining that extra rice.
That's exactly what I did this week. Walking away from that consult with a handful of new maintenance meds sparked an existential crisis, and I had to text my sister to ask about the meds, adding, "Ang hirap pala ng tumatanda, 15/10, moneyback pls."
Whenever I feel old, I always go back to my mother, or at least, the thought of her. When I turned thirty, I became acutely aware that I was entering my mother's last decade. Sitting there at the doctor's, recalling how old I am, I was momentarily frozen by the realization that at 33, my mother was running a family and a business, juggling a career and two daughters, and fulfilling client work that took her to as far north as Bataan in a pre-Macbook, pre-smartphone, pre-SCTEx era. My most vivid memories remain to be of her prepping for work at her dresser, putting make-up and stockings on, and maybe discussing some school work with me.
The last time I saw my mother, I was 12 years old, and at the time, the dream was to be like my mother, with her business suits, her cars and her confidence.
I have had to improvise since then, and at 33, here I am: No car, no kids, just a handful of maintenance meds for my joints and my liver.
But here's what I also know: When she was 33, my mother had five years left, and she most probably had no idea her time was nearly up. That thought terrifies me more than my car-less, kid-less situation. What if we only have so much left? What do we do first? Some days the creak in my bones get just a little bit louder, and thinking about my own mortality gets a bit more terrifying than the day before.
My mother died at 38, and up until this weekend I worried that I'd be a little more lost than I used to be when I no longer have that guide: What did my mother do at 34? At 35? At 36?
And then I remembered: When I was born, my father was 39. The thought just so recently occurred to me, and I'm just as amused and amazed as you are.
Anyway: More than once I have thought about doing something to mark that moment that I get past my mother's age in celebration. Any thoughts and recommendations?
Anyway, here's that segment again wherein I try to put additional context on what we were particularly incensed about this week.
While We Were Angry
What we were angry at this week, and everything else after
Recent Habagat rains from Tropical Storm "Karding" prompted massive evacuations in Marikina as floods reminiscent of Ondoy (2009) submerged Metro Manila over the weekend. As expected, the inclement weather revived discussions about "Filipino resilience", and how this narrative has put us the people at a general disadvantage, because instead of asking for better service from our government, here we are, extolling this supposed virtue.
This is not to say that resilience is a bad thing. In fact, if anyone wants to read up on building and improving flood resilience, here's what the World Economic Forum has to say about that. WEF says there are a host of ways: Improved assessment and communications of the risks to help people make better decisions; better preparedness and community planning; investments in infrastructure to help disperse flood waters and prevent events like dams bursting; warning systems to help get people to safety, etc.
And I think it's inaccurate to say that nothing has been done. If your phone received an emergency broadcast or SMS alert from the National Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Council, that's part of these efforts. We can also look at Marikina's improved evacuation centers as proof that there is some learning occurring somewhere (thank God). Did you know that there are also disaster risk reduction programs in Marikina schools? I am also aware of at least one disaster risk reduction education program being conducted by non-government entities who are working closely with communities all over the country, especially those often visited by calamities. But still. So much more left to be done.
ANYWAY. So while that was happening:
#NasaanAngPangulo. We asked for the President and did not find him. Apparently, he was in Davao all weekend, and his assistant thought it was a good idea to bring an IMPERSONATOR to Marikina. I have no words.
PDP out, Hugpong in. Here's what was also happening in Davao: The President's daughter was busy gearing up for the 2019 elections by forging an alliance with another strongman's daughter and her party, Nacionalista. Disgusting. This party, called Hugpong ng Pagbabago, is now the President's party, apparently. PDP-Laban who? Remember when they moved mountains just to get the President in the race? Yeah, me too.
Is the President ill? Anyway, the President's prolonged absence came days after he attended the PNP anniversary and marched despite the rains. (Real talk: my dad is the President's age and I expressly forbid him from getting the least bit rained on because at that age he is so prone to illness, so I'm not surprised that there were rumors about the President being ill while he was out.)
Leni can't do it. The President has since resurfaced at a dinner for the Kapisanan ng Brodkaster ng Pilipinas, where he said he was willing to step down if it were Bongbong Marcos or Chiz Escudero succeeding him instead of Vice President Leni Robredo. I don't know what's worse, the misogyny or the unconstitutionality. Both na lang.
Some other issues: Military corruption. Also in the news: The President recently sacked military officials over accusations of graft and fraud in purchases of military medical supplies. Ho-hum, old news. (Glenda Gloria's recent newsletter on military corruption was really informative.)
Drug war. They rounded up people at a club on Makati Ave over the weekend because "drugs". Still frightening as fuck. I was thinking maybe we should go make some lawyer friends in these times of dire need, because cops only respect you when you tell them you're on the phone with one. But even then, even these lawyers got arrested for doing their jobs. SO HOW?? Incidentally, it has been almost a year since Kian delos Santos died. Since then, the cops involved have been reinstated and/or promoted. The President has also been pretty forthright about admitting that the drug problem won't end under his watch. So what has all of this been for?
Traffic. The MMDA targeted single-passenger vehicles in its latest scheme attempting to ease the volume of cars on the Metro's main thoroughfare EDSA. People are not happy, senators included, so MMDA had to suspend this scheme. I think more companies should let their employees work remotely instead of contributing more $$$ to the daily losses due to traffic, now at a staggering P3.5 billion EVERY DAY. Or maybe the government could, I don't know, do what JICA recommended when it studied improving metro traffic some years back.
And now for something beautiful:
Regina Spektor playing "Samson" live for the first time on television. Breathtaking.
Latest Netflix binge
Campy, inappropriate and problematic. This was sold to me as, "Uy parang Lipgloss!" so you have been forewarned. But if you let it, it will surprise you when you least expect.
Bookmark recs:
Notes Nearing Ninety: Learning to Write Less (via The Paris Review)
How to Discuss the Far Right Without Empowering It (via The Atlantic)
Let's All Go Back to Tumblr (via The Outline)
Consume anything interesting over the last few days? Reply to rec! :)