citizen panic
Manila, 1 May—An old panic usually overtakes me whenever May comes around during an election year like this one. I thought this year, my first elections outside of the media cycle since 2004 (when I covered the presidential elections as an intern for Inquirer), it would be different; I was wrong. It turns out, it’s not some sort of newspaper panic—it is a citizen panic.
It did just now, when I realized that April has passed us by so, so quickly. I remember when I was still in the newspaper, I lived and breathed the elections as soon as the first electoral survey comes out, oftentimes ahead of the filing of certificates of candidacies. From there, it is everywhere—in the stories we wrote, the databases we built, the phone calls we had to make, the request letters we had to send. It never got easy, even when we already knew what we were doing—I suppose it got harder especially when we already knew what we were doing. The weight of it. Many times, I wondered if it mattered. I took the results of the 2016 elections as a referendum on our efforts and left, brokenhearted.
Today, standing outside, I understand now how easy it is to get lost in things, to tune out pertinent discussion on what truly should matter in the grand scheme of things, and opting instead to focus on whatever it is on one’s desk. It’s easier, it’s manageable, it’s practical. And it’s like that every day. A day could pass by without me giving the coming May 13 elections a thought, inundated as I was with my every day. And I’m ashamed to admit this. Going into the season, I thought now I could be a better citizen because I spent half of my life covering elections; I know how important they are, how important information is, most especially today in the age of disinformation.
And yet here I am, overwhelmed like everybody else. And it’s already May 1.
Speaking of panic: Where were you when the earthquake struck the Metro last Monday? I was in the office, trying to finish writing something. Since we were on the 8th floor, we could really feel the ground swaying—side to side at first, then forward and back. It lasted for more than ten seconds. I remember tweeting, This is a long earthquake.
Phivolcs later reported that it struck at 5:11 PM on April 22, near Zambales. The initial magnitude was 5.7; it was later revised to 6.1, with Makati experiencing Intensity V, which means “strong” shaking.
Fortunately, by this time we have done a lot of earthquake drills already, and some of my teammates have been extensively involved in disaster preparation programs. When the shaking stopped, nobody questioned the need to get out of the building, afraid of aftershocks. And so we spilled out into the streets, which were filled with people on their phones, just trying to get back to their loved ones.
I was still in the fire exit when I called home, surprisingly via our Facebook group chat. Auntie said she felt dizzy; my brother said he was already outside because their building had already evacuated. My sister did not feel anything, but she’s already in a hospital, so I guess.
When I called my girlfriend, she said she had already been evacuated from the nearby coffee shop where she always worked while waiting for me to finish my shift. We met at a nearby park, also a designated evacuation area for buildings in the area.
Standing there waiting anxiously, I thought glumly, Of all administrations to get stuck with in the middle of an earthquake, and it had to be THIS ONE.
Sigh. Anyway—my teammates also made this post-earthquake to-do’s infographic. And we probably need to take packing our survival kits and go bags seriously.
Stay safe.
Anyway, this update is late because the final stretch of April was busy. For instance, my teammates and I were with Marikina seniors last Thursday and Friday for our latest leg of tech workshops, and I spent the weekend finishing a writing project that I’ve been working on for months. It was due yesterday, I’m nervous about how it turned out, as I always am with writing about girls falling in love, but at this point I’m just glad I can now write something else. *looks nervously at list of WIPs*
The next few weeks leading up to the elections look batshit as ever, but I’m thankful for this midweek breather, which gave me a chance to process the last nine days or so.
Also, yes, I am deliberately trying not to talk about Game of Thrones and Avengers Endgame.
Guys I am trying so HARD.
Recs around the internet
Don’t be fooled by that snippet featuring Gina Rodriguez singing Dreaming of You by Selena in the grocery store. Someone Great could be heavy in some portions, but the cast did their best with what they were handed with. Also: The OST is fantastic.
She-Ra and the Princesses of Power Season 2 is now on Netflix. Scorpia is gayer than ever, I love her.
Alice Wu, the director of Saving Face, is bringing a lesbian teen rom-com to Netflix and my body is ready for it.
Here’s why you have never been interviewed for a survey by SWS and Pulse Asia.
Come yell at me if you’re thinking about Winterfell or Endgame.
xo,
K.