Manila, 14 January—Happy Sunday, friends. This week I read a lot of good things, mostly online, and I want to share them with you.
'Harbor Lights': I loved my mother enough, but didn't have the means to make her life more comfortable by Pablo Tariman (via Inquirer.net)
Author Pablo Tariman turned 69 on Dec. 30 and wrote a tender essay remembering his mother, and how her songs and hardships shaped his childhood in Virac. Though heartwrenching the way all stories about dead mothers are, I was touched by how vivid his story is, after all these years. I believe our mothers can be the most colorful characters in our own life stories; I know mine is, and she had only twelve years. Lovely read.
Grieving the people we've loved and lost by Kim Bateman (via ideas.ted.com)
Whenever I read enlightening pieces about grief and coping, I always make it a point to share it on Facebook and Twitter, because I know many of my friends could use it. I shared this one from last Christmas about making it through a particularly sad holiday season because of loss, and was surprised (and somewhat saddened) at how many of my friends thanked me for sharing it because they found it helpful.
This post from ideas.ted.com is yet another one of those. This talks about how some people cope with loss through rituals. What I found really striking about it was its straightforward, easy-to-understand prose, and its tender and calming tone. I've read and appreciated posts that are explanatory and useful, but this one feels like your favorite tita talking to you matter-of-factly, but with an arm around your shoulder in a half-hug.
And of course, my favorite lines from that piece: "When we sing over the bones of the people we care for, we are sitting in the place of the greatest love imaginable. And we’re not only singing up new life for our loved one, but we’re also singing up new life for ourselves."
As I told a friend who shared this post after seeing it on my wall and being reminded of her mother's death anniversary: Whenever I see beautiful, well-written words about loss, it feels as if my mother is just around the corner, saying hello. Incidentally, we are marking my mother's 59th birth anniversary on the 19th, so I guess she really is saying hi. :)
Who hits golf balls into the sea by Gina Apostol (via The New York Times)
This rec is via Ana, who just joined this list. Filipino novelist Gina Apostol talks seamlessly about breast cancer, golf balls, and national crises in this opinion piece for The New York Times.
In one paragraph, as Ana pointed out to me, Apostol ties together her metaphor seamlessly: "I touched that area where a lump, not quite the size of a golf ball, had once nestled in my razed, amputated breasts. There are other kinds of threats like cancer that lurk and one might want to surgically remove — like these golf balls in the sea, little symbols of the callousness that threatens the natural and political ecosystems of the Philippines."
Powerful and courageous.
LISTEN: Give Her by Andrea Gibson (via Spotify)
Andrea Gibson's new spoken word album Hey Galaxy has just been released, and I'm in love with a track called 'Give Her'.
My favorite line goes: Darling, when I gave you my heart, I gave my life my word that it would not be the same heart I had given before.
It's gorgeous. Please consider giving it a listen here.
"You ask what makes this different. Why I want to give it a whirl the size of a tornado? Why I want to give it a go at every red light? I just know you make me feel like I could win the lottery with a parking ticket. I see your lipstick on a coffee cup and feel like I have never known a bruise."