i am not a traveler
Manila, 8 June—It’s taken me all of these years, but for now I can safely say that I am not a traveler. There are people who enjoy the thrill of discovery and new places; I am not one of those people. It’s not that I hate it; I just prefer the comfort of the indoors and the familiar.
Venturing out, while it’s something I have to flex for, is also something that I am always ready to do when called upon and will do so gladly when it matters. I have traveled for family, for friends and for lovers; I have traveled for work and for play. I never have and never will regret any of those trips, and I will gladly do them again and again.
But ask me about my bucket list, and it does not include much traveling. A perfect day is just a long, slow breakfast, with a good book and good company.
This does not mean though that my journeys have been less than interesting; I just believe some adventures are not entirely spatial. Life stages, for example, are journeys marked by movement from one disposition to the next. There’s a reason we journey through high school and college; that we navigate adulthood and parenthood; and that death is called the final destination.
I talk about journeys, because this month marks eighteen years since I first began my own journey into adulthood—a journey that began on the first day of college.
My friendships with my college blockmates are among the longest I’ve kept outside of family, all considered. We met at perhaps the most curious juncture of our young lives—at the cusp of a bright new world. We have been adventuring together since.
At this point, we have been in each other’s lives longer than we have not. From journeying past vices and lovers, we have now shifted into navigating between careers and what the rest of our lives entailed—may it be solo domesticity, or partnerships and marriage, or parenthood in all its forms, or taking care of our ageing parents. From dreamers who all wanted a piece of journalism action, we are now in a sort of vocation diaspora—communicators in all places, amplifying all sorts of messages and voices.
Our journeys are not alike, though many of us eventually found our way into the news. My journey in journalism, for example, ended after a little over a decade, whereas the best of us are still at it, soldiering on. All around us, people moved on from boyfriends and girlfriends; got married and had kids; became lawyers and artists and stylists.
The world turned and burned and turned some more, and somehow, we are all still here: Catching up with each other during brunches and dinners; organising the occasional beach getaway in the summers; and of course, trying our best to cap the year with the traditional Christmas videokes in December.
When I say I’m not a traveler, I also mean to say I find it hard making new friends as an adult. To illustrate: When I entered grad school, I struggled through most of it as a lone wolf. It’s just not quite the same.
But no matter: With these decades-strong friendships, my heart is at peace that I know a place I could always call home.
Our block marks 18 years on June 14th. Happy anniversary, K1! To mark this momentous occasion, I am gathering all our old photos from the old websites and re-uploading them. Should you want to send me some photos and/or essays, shoot me an email!